I Love My Soldier: March 2005

Jason was activated 01/31/2005
His deployment ended
and he returned home 05/13/2006
(a very long 15 1/2 months)


Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Crying 1
I have been feeling down missing Jason and have cried many tears. At first I thought I shouldnt cry when I feel this way because that was a sign of weakness, that if I cried I didnt have faith that God would see me through this. But I do know that tears are cleansing and there are times when I need to cry (and its ok). I wanted to share with everyone something that a dear friend of mine (named Sue) shared with me.......

" God is good and He is so faithful, Deanne, and I know you already know that. And as for those tears, the Word tells us that God numbers them and puts them in a bottle. A saying I read once that comforts me says: "Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is put upon it." And tears are healing, so just let them flow when they need to. God bless you and keep you "

Missing my Sweetie!

Crying Into Tissue

I just got off the phone with my Sweetie. We had such a wonderful conversation. I love and miss him SOOOOOOO much!!!!! Whoever said this would get easier with time lied! I miss him more and more each day!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Already There

Yeah!!! I got not one,
but TWO phone calls today!

On The Phone

Jason called me at 8:30 am (my time) 4:30 pm (in Germany) and then again at 2:20 pm (my time) 10:20 pm (in Germany - bed time for him). I told him good night and sweet dreams... I admit it seemed strange telling him Good Night when it was the middle of the day here. It will take some getting used to, but we will adjust. Hearing his voice is the best part of my day.

Love Song

I put the video "Already There" by Lonestar on the Blog today. WOW... the video (tribute to our Armed Forces) is awesome. Seeing the soldiers saying goodbye to their families hit close to home! I have heard the song before, but it has such a significant meaning to me now. It made me cry, because the words were so true.

"I'm already there, dont make a sound,
I'm the beat in your heart,
I'm the moon light shining down.
I'm the whisper in the wind,
and I'll be there till the end.
Can you feel the love that we share, I'm already there.
We may be a thousand miles apart,
but I'll be with you wherever you are"

Monday, March 28, 2005

I love you Jason!

At 10:40 pm I got a call from Jason as he was heading out starting his day (6:40 am). We talked briefly, told each other how much we loved each other and said goodbye. I know I will go back to bed and sleep peacefully with thoughts of him in my mind. I hope his day starts anew with thoughts of me in his. Well I'm back off to bed (Sweet Dreams).

Beating Heart
Jason... Thank you for my bed time call.
You are in my dreams and in my heart!!!
I love you so much baby!!!!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!
Easter Bunny

Happy Easter everyone!!! Here is a picture of Erin, Alex, and Hayden taken at my mom’s house after church today. Aren’t they just beautiful children!! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. I love and adore my husband and children so much!!

Easter Cross

We have had a really great day. We had an awesome service at church and the kids had a fun-filled children’s church – Easter egg hunt and all. Hayden has been moved up to “Children’s Church” now that he is almost three. I am glad to see him move up. We went to mom’s after church and ate lunch. The kids and my lil sister Courtney hid eggs (inside since the ground was still wet outside) but they had so much fun. Then we hurried home because I didn’t want to miss Jason’s call.

Chatty 2

Jason called at 2:40 pm (our time)…..it was 10:40pm in Germany. Right now they are 8 hours ahead (he said time just changed there). Daylight Savings Time takes place April 2nd here… so once that happens he will only be 7 hours ahead. It was WONDERFUL to hear his voice and get to talk to him. I love him so much!! Happy Easter baby!!!

We didn’t talk long as Jason was about to go to bed. Hayden laid down for a nap and the girls and I just got finished watching a movie. I thought I would come in here and jot down our day. I hope you have all had a wonderful Easter.

Saturday, March 26, 2005


ohhhh I missed Jason's first call home from Germany!! I have been home all day... and of course he calls when I go get the girls!!!. I went and picked up the girls from their nannas and then we went and got Erin some new shoes. He left a message on the machine.... said he would try to call back when he could!! I really hope I hear from him soon!. Jason, I love ya baby!!!

I miss you Jason!!.

I have been busy, busy, busy today... cleaning house and playing with Hayden. The girls will be home very shortly and then I am taking them to get new shoes for Easter. I do good when I keep myself busy, then I will pass a picture of Jason and I just stop and stare. It really hit me today that he is THOUSANDS of miles away from me on the other side of the world! I dont know when I will get to see him again (and he will be gone for soooo long). I miss him so much!!

Camouflage Flag 2

I just have to remember the reason we are worlds apart... and how important that reason is. Jason is a soldier and he has an important job to do. I am so very proud of him!! I know he has a lot on him and his whole world has changed. I just want him to know how much we love him and support him!!

Friday, March 25, 2005



I wanted to share some good news and ask that you pray over this situation.

A local Christian Family Magazine has contacted me. He wants to talk with his wife (who has complete editorial control over the magazine) about me writing an article for them for this monthly magazine.

I am really excited about this opportunity and pray that if this is in God's Will then this door will be opened.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven - Matthew 5:16

Troop Smiley

Well Jason should be having a very busy day traveling. I ask that you pray that they have a safe trip to Germany and that he quickly adjust to the time difference and change of environment.

Jason called me from the airport around 5:20 pm. Their flight was going to be heading out around 7:00 pm. It will be a 12 hour flight. He said someone had brought them lunch and someone (I think he said the ELKS club there) had made them goody bags full of things. Again he told me he wasnt sure when he would be able to call as they will have such a busy schedule when they first get to Germany. I hope and pray that we will be able to talk again very soon!!

Jason, I love you baby!!!!! Kisses

Girls Night Out...

Diner Off The Rack

I got to get out of the house this evening. My mom came by and watched Hayden for me, and my friend Sharon and I went out. We went to "Wings" out near the Galleria and had Fried Dill Pickles and Hot Wings. "mmmm mmmm good"! Then we headed over to Steinmart and went shopping. We had the best time. We cut up and laughed and talked.

Honestly...This was the first time in over a year that I have gone out without my children. Being a work from home mom I am home with my youngest all day, and then the girls get home from school at 3:00. I was so used to Jason walking in the door and 5:00 and now he doesnt. It's mainly just me and the children day in and day out. I love my children so much, but every once in a while mommy needs to get out. I am hoping that atleast once a month I will be able to get out with my girlfriends and go to dinner and/or shopping. :-)

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Tomorrow he leaves for Germany!

Plane 3

Tomorrow (03/25) is the day... Jason will actually be leaving Ft. Leonard Wood and flying to Germany. Its been hard and a big adjustment not having him home, but atleast he has been in the US the past seven weeks. Now he will be across the WORLD from me!

I have been spoiled the past seven weeks because we have been able to talk almost every single day. However when he gets to Germany I am not sure how often we will get to talk. We still have to work out all the details on the best way for him to call home. Hopefully we will be able to get him a Laptop for there so he can start emailing me too.

Jason called this morning about 6:30 am and we talked for a few minutes. He said they were going to have a busy day trying to get everything taken care of before they fly out tomorrow. The flight is 12 hours and Germany is 7 hours ahead of us. I am sure he will be exausted when he gets there. (I put the clocks on the web page too so we can see what time it is Germany).

I keep thinking of how different things are for Jason. He is completly away from everything that he is used to (his home, his family and friends). Atleast I still have my family and friends to lean on... yet will be so far away from all that he is familiar with. I know this will be difficult for him as well.

Well, the girls are still in Indiana, and Hayden and are just sitting here waiting on American Idol to come on. I will anxiously be awaiting Jason's phone call tonight because once we talk tonight I dont know when we will get to talk again.

I Miss YouCrying 1

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Missed a call... or did I?

Phone Shocker

Well... I missed my hubby's call tonight. This really bums me out. My mom was at my house watching our son, Hayden, while I was at choir practice. She said Jason called two minutes before I walked in the door.

I would have made it home in time to get Jason's phone call, but I took Ms. Jesse (an elderly lady at church) home after choir practice. As we were practicing I was thinking "I wonder if Ms. Jesse needs a ride home tonight?". So I went down to ask her and she said yes and hugged me. As I walked back up to the choir, I looked down and saw Ms. Jesse wiping tears from her eyes. Later as she got up to practice her song, Ms. Jesse told us that as she was sitting there she was asking God "Lord, Who should I ask to take me home tonight" and it was at that moment that I had walked down. On the way home, Ms. Jesse told me that she didn't want to burden anyone and she had been sitting there worrying who she should ask. She said she was so grateful when I came to her and offered her a ride. Isn't the Lord amazing at how he comforts us, meets our needs, and sends people to us when we need them.


So I may have missed my husband's phone call, but I felt an extreme blessing by answering the Lord's call by helping Ms. Jesse.

"This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God." 2 Corinthians 9:12.

Jason, I love you baby and I'm sorry we didn't get to talk tonight. I keep thoughts of you close to my heart. I will dream of you tonight and of the day when you are back home in my arms.......

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I Will Go Through The Valley

With my husband Jason recently being deployed, not having husband and father at home has been hard. He has been gone almost two months and knowing we have another 12 to 18 months sometimes makes me wonder how I will be able to handle this. We are still trying to settle into the new routine and trying best to go about our regular lives. During this initial period of separation I am having to deal with some intense emotions. I am proud, but I am angry. I extremely sad missing him, but so happy when he gets to call. A part of my normal life has been taken away and there is a void in my day to day life that I must adjust to. Emotions run high, but I must be strong because right now I have to be mommy and daddy. However I have learned that I can't deal with it all on my own. I have turned to caring family and friends for emotional support. I have also turned it over to God. Through Him I am learning to experience the peace and grace He offers me during difficult times. I may be going through the valley, yet I know I will make it through. Its not the first valley I have traveled in my life and I am sure it wont be the last. I wont lie and say it's easy because it's not, but I do know the Lord will not allow me to go through more than I can handle. Everything happens for a reason and in every difficult circumstance that I have experienced I have grown and matured in my life and in the Lord. There is a song that says the Lord will not let you fall any further than your knees.. and it's true. I have fallen to my knees may times asking Him for strength, for wisdom, for guidance, and He always comes through. Of course He does.....He doesn't want me to be depressed, or feel down and lonely. I need to be strong for my husband, for my children, for myself and for the Lord (for He has mighty and great plans for me). They say misery loves company and misery I don't want in my life, nor do I want to inflict misery upon anyone else. I want my life to be a testimony for the Lord. I want to be a witness for Him. God is my strength. He is my rock. It's in Him that I know we will make it through the next year. We take the good days, and we take the bad, and through it all we praise the Lord, because without Him we have nothing. He is the mighty comforter who gives us strength, He heals, protects and loves us for eternity.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Monday, March 21, 2005

Email from Jason!

YEAH.. I got an email from Jason last night (I hope he doesnt mind me sharing this one).
I Love You Email

"Hello baby, I'm on C.Q tonight from 1700 - 0500... oh what a wonderful time. I really like your new website. I really miss all of you very very much. I hope you'all are doing o.k. without me. Jeff and myself had a fairly good time on our day off. All we did was sleep pretty much and eat all wanted to. (They got two days off this past weekend). Sorry I cant email you any more than I do , but there's nothing I can do about it until we get over there. Love You bunches and tell the kids how much I miss them. LOVE ALWAYS Jason. "

Sunday, March 20, 2005

My Weekend

It's really quiet around the house. The girls have gone to Indiana to spend Spring Break with their dad. Jason of course is thousands of miles aways so it's just me and Hayden at home. He really misses daddy being gone and now Erin and Alex are gone for the next week too. Yesterday Hayden and I played with PlayDough. Thats was an experience hehe. (honestly we had lots of fun). Jason called last night and it was nice to talk to him. Hayden talked to daddy too and Hayden did his famous "knock knock" joke. Hayden says "Knock Knock." Jason says "Who's there?" Hayden answers "Boo." Jason asks "Boo who?". and Hayden answers"Dont Cry". It's so funny to hear him tell this knock knock joke.. because he is only two (well he will be three April 21st).

Jesus Fish

Today at church we had our easter drama. It was such a powerful and moving drama entitled "Signs of the times". Here is a little snippet from the bulletin. "The horrific events of September 11, 2001 left our country in turmoil. Many lives were lost and families felt the pain of this tragic event. Unfortunately, this was only one of the signs which our Lord Jesus Christ told us to watch for in his word. Today, More than ever, we need to be sure of our salvation and relationship with God. It is our solemn prayer that you will experience Gods love here today, and ask yourself; are you ready? What if the end of time were today? Where would you spend Enternity?"

After the drama this morning we went to my moms and ate lunch with them. My lil sis was packing up to head to the beach for a week (Have fun and be careful Courtney). My brother and his wife came and ate lunch too. They will also be the drama tonight(as my dad has a part.. he plays a military police officer). Well speaking of the drama.. It starts at 6:00 pm tonight and I need be heading that way!
Falling In Love 2 Jason... I love you baby. I miss you bunches. I am trying to stay busy and get out of the house some too (being home all the time is hard for me and Hayden). So tomorrow afternoon we are going to the park (weather permitting). I miss you baby!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 18, 2005

Nights are hard!

I miss my husband

It seems nights are always the worst. During the day my work (at home transcription) and the kids keep my busy, but once the kids have gone to bed and it's quiet it gives me too much time to think, and I really start missing Jason. I know I am a strong woman and I know I can "handle this" and more importantly I know the Lord will see us through all of this, but to say it's not hard would be a lie.

I have pictures of Jason all over the house. The living room, my office, the kids room, our bed room. My favorite is the one I keep beside our bed. I love and miss him so much.

I hate to start my Blog off this way.. but felt I should be honest about my feelings.

Jason, I love you Sweetie... know that I am thinking about you tonight, missing you lying next to me, and will see you in my dreams! I love you!! Deanne.

Happy Birthday from your Family

Happy Birthday from your family!

Happy Birthday Jason

Birthday Song
Happy Birthday Baby!!

I hope you have a wonderful day. I wish that we could spend this special day together. Happy Birthday to you!! Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday dear Jason, Happy Birthday to you.

I love you!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Getting Jiggy
I hope everyone has a happy St. Patrick's Day. And if you aren't wearing the color green then here is a BIG PINCH from me......PINCH

Sunday, March 13, 2005

March 10 - 13th (A trip home)

Jason got to fly home to visit for a long weekend. We had such a wonderful time together. Saturday we took the kids bowling, and the Saturday night we cooked out. Sunday the 13th was a very emotional day; saying goodbye once again was hard. Jason is now back in Missouri and they have graduated from the Military Police course. They will be leaving for Germany March 25th.