I Love My Soldier: July 2005

Jason was activated 01/31/2005
His deployment ended
and he returned home 05/13/2006
(a very long 15 1/2 months)


Sunday, July 31, 2005

Shake yourself loose!

This morning Hayden and I again went back to the church we have attended for the past 5 years (but have been absent from the past two months). Today was again another awesome service and again I was truly touched. I felt "at home" and felt a reassurance that I was where God wanted me to be. At the end of the service the Praise Team was singing (Denean was singing "Say the name") and Pastor Scott was doing an alter call. Many people were going down. Denean continued to sing and Pastor Scott was saying he felt that there were others who needed to come down. Then a few minutes later he called me out by name and told me he wanted to pray with me. I made my way to the alter and he asked me to come up on the stage. He called over his wife (Traci) and he asked Russell to bring the oil. I can't begin to tell you how I felt. They know my hurt and needs concerning my husband's deployment and all that I am going through in that regard... also he (and the staff) know of some personal things in my life and his prayers (and his wife Traci's prayers) really comforted me and made me feel love (not only from God, but from my pastor and church family as well). Today was a day to rejoice.. to be glad! Again I can't begin to tell you how I felt today. A need was met and a heart was mended. I am truly excited about being where I am and again becoming an active part of this ministry.

Also I want to share some of the lyrics from "Shake yourself loose" by Vickie Winans

There are more lyrics than this, but I wanted to just touch base and share some of it with you - as the song is very long)

You said you've been bound up
Looking for a way to break free
The devils got you tide up
Listen to these words from me.
Your situation may seem hopeless but it's not the end
Though you are burdened and have shackels on your feet
I want you to know you're about to break loose
Jesus took the keys and he gave 'em to you

I heard you were feelin down
That satan had you bound
No you don't have to stay,
Yes you can leave today
Just like in the Bible days
When men begin to pray
Those prayers will start to shakin
those chains will start to breakin
I want you to know you're about to break loose,
Jesus took the keys and He gave them to you.

So heres what cha gotta do!
Shake Loose!
Everything that binds you up.
Who told you that you can't make it
When God said that you can take it
Shake Loose!
Everything that binds you up
Praise Him like it's your last chance
Get up and do the David's dance.

Don't let the enemy, keep you in bondage
Praise your way through
C'mon and shake loose!

And every worry, every pain
Praise your way through
C'mon and shake loose!

Praise...Praise His Name!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I've been tagged

I've been tagged!
Custom Smiley

I have been tagged by Stacy. The tag is entitled "Whats on your nightstand". Yes this is an easy tag!

Ok, so what's on my nightstand?
1) A tiny 2 x 2.5 frame that holds one of my favorite pictures of Jason
2) A beautiful frame (that someone gave us when we got married) that holds a close up picture of me and Jason looking into each other's eyes as we are dancing at a Valentine's Banquet at church.
3) A lamp that my mother gave me (beautiful with dried pressed flowers in the shade.
4) A book "Praying the Scriptures" by Judson Cornwall.
5) An alarm clock.

NOW I think I am also supposed to tag people too.. (I don't know if you ladies have been Tagged on this one yet or not).
BayouMaMa2, Jenny, Erika, April, Julie, GI Wife

A day at the river!

Boating 2
This morning I was woken-up by the phone ringing and my husband calling to tell me to get on the web cam. We talked at a different time than we normally do (because Hayden and I had plans for today). After talking with my Sweetie, I got up fixed me and Hayden some breakfast, and started getting ready for our day. Our day (well half a day) was going to be spent at the river riding in my in-laws new boat. We had to be at their house at 12:30, loaded everyone up and met my brother-in-law Mike, his wife Julie, and their son Chris for BBQ. By the time we got to the river, got the boat in the water it was already 2:30 pm. It was so nice to be on the water riding in the boat with the wind blowing my hair and the sun beaming down on us.. ahhh it was relaxing! Hayden was having a blast and loved riding in the boat. He just grinned from ear to ear and kept saying "yeah". We stopped once and swam in the river, then decided to take the boat down to the "sand bar". We got out and swam, and the kids (Macie, Hayden, and Chris) were able to swim/play where their feet actually touched ground. We stayed there a while then road around in the river some more. THEN my brother-in-law Mike wanted to go to "the swing". No one wanted to jump but him, so I decide to be brave and swing/jump myself. Once we got there and stopped the boat we had to swim up to the bank. I looked up at this VERY STEEP hill and how high you had to climb to actually jump. There were already a few guys there jumping and when I saw them I thought "yeah I can do this". We climbed the embankment and when I got up there my heart was pounding!! The thought of holding on to this bar on a rope tide to a tree on the side of the river scared me. I thought what if I let go before I get over the water and I tumble down the hill. Well Mike was encouraging me and telling me I could do it, but I was scared to go too far up the hill. So he found me a spot a little above half way. I stood there contemplating if I was going to jump ..... and just then....I lost my balance and my feet started sliding.. OH NO! No second thoughts now.. I was going! BUT It was all good .... I just didn't go as far out in the water as I normally would have. HOWEVER I wanted to do it the right way... do it on my own, to be brave, not go only because I slipped. So back up the hill I went.. almost to the very top. I looked over at Mike and said "here I go" and there I went! Whoooooooaaaahhhhh. It was fun! I was flying through the air and when I got really far out Mike hollered at me when it was time to let go (that way I got the most out of my jump/swing). I let go and plunged through the air into the water! Now that was fun!! Well maybe that was a lot to describe me swinging off a rope into the water at the river.. but I had to give you this visual! hehe. Anyway after Mike jumped, we got back in the boat and headed back in for the day. We only spent about 3 hours at the river, but I had a great time, got some sun, and Hayden had a blast as well!

Friday, July 29, 2005

Separated by War - Being a Military Wife

I want to share with you my Devotional today from my E-Mail Ministry called "Speak Through Me". If you would like to receive the devotional in your email please contact me at lifebackhome@bellsouth.net.

Soldier's Kiss

"Separated by War - Being a Military Wife"

"I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me." Psalm 55:16-18:

My husband Jason (Soldier in the Army National Guard) is currently overseas serving our country in "Operation Enduring Freedom". He has been deployed for six months and we have another 10 months before his deployment ends. Although I am thankful that he is in a non-combat zone, his absence in our home is hard on me, the children, and him.

Jason and I are very fortunate to both have computers. We have web cams and are able to talk to each other every day. Although this makes things easier, at the same time it is harder, because we are so much closer "emotionally" and I miss him so much. See I am more in love with Jason today than ever. When communication is ALL you have its amazing how you start to appreciate, open up and share with each other. It is so hard to not have my best friend and husband at home by my side. It is not easy, as I have had to take on additional responsibilities, make sacrifices of my own, play both mom and dad, keep the home front taken care of so he can concentrate on the job at hand, keep a marriage alive through care packages, phone calls and communication through the web cam, and to comfort children who miss him, and a three year old who just doesn't understand. It is hard.

With the divorce rate up 80% in military families, it can be a scary situation for couples separated by war. However I know our marriage is strong enough to handle this separation, and honestly it makes us cherish each other, family, and the time we spend together even more (a time that unfortunately we may have and many other couples may have taken for granted).

In previous articles (and in my blog) I have thanked our soldiers, but today I want to thank all of the other military spouses out there! I know what you are going through. Each day brings a challenge that we face without our spouse, but we endure each challenge that comes our way because we love them, we believe in them and know they are committed to the duty they have undertaken.

It has been a very difficult time, but through it all, I know God is at my side. Yes, He sustains me when my strength is gone. He knows exactly what I need and the moment I need it. He is always there. Thank you God for the strength you give me to be all that I can for you, my children, and my husband.

In His Service,

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Busy little bee

I have been one busy little bee. Between typing (Medical Transcription), spending time with Hayden, organizing, and still more painting... I haven't had much time to come up for air. Of course I have had time to talk to my Sweetie on the Web Cam. Things seem better, he has seemed in better spirits and was not as quiet. We played a game of checkers and Literati (which is like Scrabble - one of Jason's favorite games). He beat me at both of these yesterday. He was also online looking and comparing prices for his flight home in December! I know it is a long ways away, but just knowing he will be coming home for two weeks is exciting beyond words.
I have been worried about him though. He has been complaining of his neck hurting and popping. (He suffered a TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury in March 2004, underwent emergency brain surgery, and spent a month in the NICU). I am praying that he WILL go see the doctor there and find out why he is hurting again. He is afraid to go to the doctor because he is afraid he will have to have surgery. PLEASE keep him in your prayers.
Daughter & Mother
I also talked to the girls (my daughters are visiting their dad in Indiana) the other day. They are having a good time! However, I am soooo ready for them to come home. We have about a week and a half before they are home (then school starts). Hayden says "I miss my girls".
Well I gotta get back to work and get this typing done, clean my house, take Hayden to the park, finish up the painting today and hopefully this evening or tomorrow move Alex's furniture (and all her STUFF - hehe) into her beautiful pink girly room.

Have a great day everyone!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Getting back in shape!

Although I seem to have a million and one things going on.. I know I can't neglect my body. I eat pretty good (however, not as good as I used to) and I lift some dumbells and get on the AB lounger from time to time... but I need to seriously get back in shape. I am not going to pretend and say "oh I am so fat" or that I have a lot of weight to lose because I know Im not. However I used to be so toned and I want THAT again! I want to feel good about myself! I want to be healthy. I used to go to the gym 4-5 days a week, and also taught an aerobics class at church one summer, but I haven't done either in so long. Again I do a few things from time to time around the house, but I really need that cardio too. So I am going to make me a new aerobics routine. Gonna burn me a CD and get to work on incorporating a routine to go along with it. THE PLAN...Do aerobics for cardio, burn the fat, and start back with my floor exercises, my weights, and my ab lounger too to tone and build muscle. I also need to ride my bike more often (when it cools down of course). Wish me luck!!!!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Haven't posted....

uh oh... Sorry for not posting for a couple of days. Here's an update.

Place Of Worship
Sunday morning I got up and went to visit the church that I previously left a couple of months ago (that I have attended the past five years). I had been told there was going to be a guest pastor and I really wanted to hear him. I was glad that I went. I have also truly missed the praise and worship. It felt so good to lift my hands and sing out to the Lord!! It felt so good to worship Him! I also felt very welcomed by many people who have "missed me" and many of those people had already been calling and/or emailing me. There was a luncheon on the new property after the service. The pastor came up to me and we talked about how awesome the service was and we talked about the guest pastor and how he was a mentor to him. It was a very pleasant conversation. The music pastor also made a point to come up to me, hug me and told me it was nice to see me.

I am still torn on if we should return to this church. Hayden (our 3-year-old) had a great time and I was truly blessed by the service. However, I really need to talk to my daughters too (when they return from their dads in a couple of weeks). I am praying that the Lord will lead us and confirm where we need to be. I need to be still and listen to the Holy Spirit. I still have some personal issues that I am dealing with and I just dont know what to do. Well I DO KNOW what to do.. to seek His wisdom and not let my own personal emotions, or let other people affect where I worship. I want to be where God can use us for His glory!

I know that when Jason returns from his deployment in June 2006 he plans on selling our home and moving. If everything goes according as planned we will even be moving to another county, therefore not attending the church we have gone to the past five years (or even the church we have been visiting the past month). So no matter where I go now, it is not going to be where we will stay. However I want to be NOW where the Lord needs us NOW and where we can get the most too (being fed His word and be able to praise and worship Him). Just keep us in your prayers.

In The Pool
ok.. back to what we did Sunday.. at the luncheon on the new property they had two "moon walks". Hayden jumped and jumped. However, it was so hot and he was turning so red, I was afraid he would get too hot, so we called it a day. I thought he would fall asleep on the way home, but he didn't. He did lay down for a few minutes after we got home, but then got right back up and wanted to "swim". I don't blame him.. it was soooo hot that day. He swam in his little pool, and I cleaned the leaves off the back deck and back drive. Then he practiced riding his little bike (he is still trying to figure out how to pedal.. but doing better each time). We went inside and I painted a little more in Alex's room, we ate dinner, and then sat down to watch one of my favorite home decorating shows. At 7:00 pm I decided to get outside and cut the front yard. I got the weed eater out too and did a little more work out front. The weed eater made a mess and I still haven't been able to get the leaf blower started so I got the water hose and cleaned off the drive way. Hayden and I took turns squirting each other with the hose. Uhhh by this time I smelled like sweat, grass, gas and am soaked in water.. so it was time to come in, get a bath, and we called it an early night!

Robot 6
Then today comes... (Monday). Nothing much to say about today honestly. I got up, got some typing done, went to the bank, went to pay Erin's school fees, picked up her schedule, came back home and typed some more.. talked on the web cam with Jason (He seemed very distant today.. very quiet), typed some more, washed some clothes and even washed the sheets too.... and here I am. Nothing too exciting.. but figured I better post anyway (I know some of you worry about me if I dont post - Thanks!!).

So it's really late and I am about to kick back in the bed, put the timer on the TV and head to "lala land". hehe. Have a great night everyone!!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Yard Sale!!

Well it is Saturday morning (literally "morning" 12:12 am) and I am about to go to bed. I didn't post Friday (I was sooooo busy working - medical transcription - typing my little fingers away making money).

Yard Sale
My mother is here and we are going to have a yard sale today! Hopefully it will go well (I gotta get rid of this stuff - I am just NOT a pack rat at all... its gotta go!). Wish us luck!

In Love

Oh... I talked to my sweetie on web cam yesterday (Friday) and he was in much better spirits. He actually got the night off (he hasnt had many nights off lately). He really needed a break! Hayden was busy busy busy playing and wouldn't come to the computer. After I got off the computer Hayden decided he wanted to talk too, so we called Jason on the phone. Hayden was telling his daddy good night and he loved him. I got the phone back and Jason seemed kind of choked up. He really loves that boy!


A couple of you have asked how the Yard Sale went so I decided I better post about it. Well the weather was HOT! uhhh soo hot. Not really a very big crowd. I think the weather had a lot to do with it. We did ok though, made a little bit of money, got rid of a few things. We didnt really have any "large" items, but we did get rid of quite a few things. All in all it was a good day.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

super mommy!

Ok, I've been down today.. but my 3-year-old son just put a HUGE smile on my face.

He said "You are super mommy" "like a super-hero".

Ahhhh thank you Hayden. Isn't it amazing how they see us?

Emotional day for Jason too

I talked to my Sweetie today on the cam... and it was just that.. I did most of the talking. He was VERY emotional today. He teared-up several times and was very quiet. It bothers me so much when he gets this way. I hate to see him hurt. I can handle ME hurting and crying, but to see him hurt kills me. HOWEVER I would rather him show me these emotions than keep them bottled up inside. I love that man more than I could ever explain or show him!!!!

We also found out that it will probably be the END of May (31st) before their deployment ends (Still NOT the "offical" word) putting them going to demobilization the first week in June (which means he would not be home until probably MID-JUNE)!!!!! That is a YEAR AND A HALF of him being deployed!! uhhhhh I want this to ALL be over with!!!!!!!!!!

Worth it


"What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him, and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse." - Author Unknown

I read that the divorce rate for military couples is up 80%. This really breaks my heart!. I also just talked to a lady (today) who is going through a divorce while her husband is overseas (I don’t know the circumstance or reasons for their divorce and if I did I would NOT share them, BUT the point being is that it happens. It IS reality). I love Jason so much and we have openly talked about the issues of how and why people are getting divorced. We have vowed to not let this happen to us. We are doing everything we can to make the best of our marriage while he is away. He is my other half and without him in my life I would be incomplete! The quote I found above says it best... "no matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse". I pray for Jason and for our marriage daily. I pray that we stay focused on the love we have for each other and our commitment. I pray for strength to stay away from situations and people that would tempt us. I pray for peace in areas of stress that may cause us to fight. I stand strong on our commitment to each other and our commitment to God. I have faith that our marriage will not be broken, because I know God is with us, He is our strength!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I need a support group!

Crying 1

I miss Jason so much! I just want to hold him close and kiss his lips. I want to feel his arms around me. I want to snuggle with him on the couch and watch a movie. I want to fall asleep next to him in our bed. Ha, I even miss hearing him snore. I want my husband back. I miss him so much, so very very much. There is so much that I miss. I miss the way he would hug me when he came in from work. I miss his gumbo and ahhh the cooking out on the grill. I miss seeing him playing with the kids. I miss the things we did together as a family. I miss his touch, his kiss! I miss him. Oh how, I miss him!!! I know... I know... In time he will be back and I will have all of those things again. But HERE and NOW I miss him. I miss my husband, I miss my best friend!

I am trying so hard to stay busy and I have made an endless list of tasks to complete, but he is ALWAYS in my thoughts. I want to be strong, yet sometimes I feel so weak. I have to be strong for Jason and for the kids (and I am for them) but inside I feel like I am dying! I sit here and cry and feel sorry for myself (my own little pitty party). Although VERY supportive, my friends and family don't understand (there is no way they can understand).

The majority of the families in our Family Support Group are an hour away from me. Part of Jason's unit was called up with the unit he was deployed with, so I don't know the families. It is my fault I guess, I haven't made an attempt to go to any of the meetings. I guess my excuse for not going is because of the distance and the families not being local people. My fault.. I need to go! I really really need to go! I have met several military wives online too and they leave very encouraging comments on my blog and that really makes me feel good and lifts my spirits, yet I still feel like I need someone to talk to "more" about these feelings - someone who is going through the same thing. Several people have given me their emails, IMs, etc if I need to talk, maybe I should take them up on their offer. I have been looking for a good support group (forum) online too. If anyone knows of one, please let me know.

(Some of my favorite lyrics - from "Come home soon" by SheDaisy)
"I sleep alone, I cry alone, and it's so hard living here on my own".
"I know we're together, even though we're far apart!"
"I''ll wait my turn, until it's our turn to dance".
"Without you this house is not a home"
"Please come home soon".

Missing my girls ~ loving my family

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

As most of you know, my girls are up in Indiana visiting their dad for 5 weeks. We are down 2 1/2 weeks and so we have another 2 1/2 weeks left before they come home. Hayden and I really miss them (their presence, their laughter, even their constant chatter – hmmm I wonder where they get that from ~me~, hehe). Having Jason deployed is hard enough, but having the girls gone too is that much worse!

I think of our family... Hayden and I are home in Alabama... Macie my step-daughter is with her mom (also in Alabama), my girls are 500 miles away from us in Indiana, and Jason is thousands of miles away overseas! We are just scattered about!! In our home where there is sometimes six of us... right now there is just two (me and Hayden).

The girls and I talk on the phone every couple of days and this is so refreshing to hear their voices. They are enjoying the time they get to spend with their dad, but they miss "momma" just as much as I miss them. They know I am switching out, painting, redoing their rooms and they are so excited (and that is a project I am still working on... I will post all the pics when completed).

I do admit I have enjoyed not having as much laundry to wash, food to cook, or choirs to distribute the past couple of weeks, but with all the EXTRA tasks I have picked up lately it really hasn't made that much of a difference (haven't slowed down at all). I am definitely staying busy (Don't let me fool you and make you think I am complaining because I am not; I love being busy)!! Hayden and I also are getting to enjoy more mommy/son time together too. However, I will be glad when the girls get home and at least part of our life is back to normal.

I love my husband, my children, and my family SO MUCH. I don't want a day to go by without letting all of them know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I have heard before that "People may forget what you have given them, they may forget the things you have said, but they will never forget the way you make them feel". I want the people in my life to feel my love, to feel my devotion, to know that no matter what I will always be there, loving them, caring for them, encouraging them; being mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I want to give and show them a life of love and happiness.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

"I miss my daddy"

Jason was activated January 31st, 2005. We saw him for a long weekend in Mid March before they flew to Germany. Then a month later he was able to come home for an Emergency Leave because his grandmother passed away. Now almost three months has passed again. All in all Jason's current deployment today is at 5 months 2 weeks and 4 days. We miss him so much!!

We are very fortunate that we have the web cams and can talk to (and see him) daily, but this just doesnt compare to having him home. Hayden (who is 3) misses his daddy so much! The longer Jason is gone, the more Hayden verbally expresses how much he misses him. I don't think Hayden understood what was going on at first, but we try to explain to him the best we can. He loves the times he gets to talk to Jason on the computer (and "play tic-tac-toe" and "draw with daddy"). Throughout the day and night Hayden will come up to me and hug me and tell me he loves his daddy, or tell me how much he misses him. He loves to look at pictures of his daddy. He has even told me before to "go get him". Then he asked me if "daddy can walk home?" I showed him on the globe how far away daddy was, but before long daddy would be home to visit again (and would fly on an airplane). I told him daddy was coming home for Christmas. Hayden jumped up and down and clapped his hands. I showed him on the Calendar when Christmas will be and when daddy will come home.

So YES, we found out that he IS getting to come home for Christmas!! Yeah!! He will be here Dec 21st and back out on January 3rd. Saying goodbye will be hard (again) and I hope it doesnt confuse Hayden too much... but once Jason leaves back for Germany in January we should only have another four months (May 2006) before he is home for good (hopefully... we still have not been given a date the deployment ends).

So in five months I will get to see my Sweetie again! Our lives have been turned upside down, inside out and every which a way. And for a couple of weeks we will have each other again.. then another four months of this hectic life!!

I will be glad when this is all over (but we have sooooo long to go).

Monday, July 18, 2005

Vote for me - Best Blog Contest

Click - Vote for the Best Blogs (Cast Your Vote)

My blog "I love my Soldier - Life Back Home"
is under "Best Military Life Blog"

Thanks sooo much!

Wow! What a productive weekend!


We have out grown our house! It has three bedrooms, two baths, living room, dinning room, kitchen, utility closet, and den, (and a separate garage). Of course Jason and I have the Master Bedroom. Hayden has had his own room. The room across from Hayden’s has been my office (since I work from home). The girls (Erin and Alex) (and Macie that we normally have every other weekend when Jason is not deployed) have a room in the den! Yep we basically converted the big A-framed den into a giant bedroom for the girls (Divider down the middle of the room separating Erin and Alex). This had been o.k. but it just looked cluttered (no matter how much I tried to organize it). Jason wants us to sell and move into a larger home (with LAND) when he gets back home. Of course some home improvements will need to be made. One thing he mentioned a while back was that the girls could not be in the den (It is a beautiful room and I know he wants to show off the floors and walls to sell it. Honestly, we would have a hard time selling it with ALL the girls STUFF back there). Of course I think he was planning on putting all the girls in the room that is my office (I don’t see how that will work … That room is way too small for three girls… too much stuff).

Erin just turned 11, Macie is 9 and Alex recently turned 9. Erin more than anyone really wants her own room (I don’t blame her – and she needs it). So I have started on rearranging and home improvements. I had already moved my desk into our bedroom (temporarily). I am going to move Erin into Hayden’s room. Since Erin has the bunk bed futon Macie will continue to sleep on the top bunk (when she starts coming back to visit). I know Erin really wanted her own room, but when Macie starts coming back it will only be every other weekend so that is ok. Alex will get my old office (Alex has a twin bed). Hayden will get the big den in the back. Which will look much better as his furniture/toys will not be anywhere as crowded as having ALL the girls stuff back there. It is going to look so nice.

Paint And Brush

So… I started on Erin’s room this weekend. Painting, etc. WOW! It is SOOOO beautiful!! After I finish my typing/work (Medical transcription) today I will be moving her bed and the rest of her things to her new room. I will post pics later tonight or tomorrow (in this post).

Of course Alex’s room is next and I will be working on it in the evenings during this week and hopefully finishing it up by next weekend (hopefully). I can’t wait to get it all finished.

The girls will be back from their dads on August 7th, so as long as I have it completed by then I am ok. They know I am doing this, but they will be so excited to see the beautiful results!

I'm So Proud

I think Jason will be proud of me for fixing things up and making it look so nice! I know I am proud of myself!

Mowing The Lawn

P.S. I also cut grass this weekend too and I (FINALLY) figured out how to start the weed eater!! Hehe (see previous post about the day last week that I was sooo aggrivated I actually cried because I couldnt get the weedeater started). All in all the house and yard are looking great!! I am staying REALLY busy but it all looks so nice!

Friday, July 15, 2005

Blogging and my new found friends.

When I think of just who all is reading my blog, I know some are people that I know personally (family, friends, church family) and then there are people who live in the same community as me (who saw my link at the bottom of the christian article that I write that is published monthly in a local paper), there are those who also receive my christian devotionals "Speak Through Me" via email that frequently view my blog as well. Of course the more you blog the more your blog gets added to other people's "links", blog searches, etc. It really amazes me just how many people view my blog each day. On average I have about 40 hits per day... but that number varies and has gotten to where it increases daily. Just yesterday I had 98 hits to my site.

Blogging is really fun. It is a great journal for me to write about my day, my feelings and thoughts. I love to read the comments that people leave me daily too. I also love to read other people's blogs and leave them comments. It is funny though because the people I "know personally" that view my blog, rarely ever leave comments, etc. It is the people that I have come to know through blogging that leave the comments. My "new found friends". Yes, through my blog I have come to know many people. Some of these ladies have husbands, fiancés, and sons who are deployed also, and some are military wives whose husbands are home with them. Yet some are just women I have found things in common with (Like our love for Christ and our families). To each and every one of you... thank you for coming into my life. You are all very unique and very special.

To those who leave comments and to those who don't (to everyone who stops to have a peak into my daily life) I wish each of you a VERY blessed day. Much Love!

Happy Birthday Erin

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I want to wish my oldest daughter ~Erin~ a VERY Happy Birthday. She is 11-years-old today (they grow up SO quick). She is currently out of town (visiting their dad in Indiana until August 7th). When she gets home in August we are going to have a B'day party for her.

Erin, you are a beautiful, sweet and talented young lady! You are heaven sent and such a precious gift from God. I thank God for you daily and the blessings you bring to me. Happy birthday!!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I love my soldier!

Soldier's Kiss
What can I say... but "I love my soldier". I do. I love him with ALL my heart! We really enjoyed our conversation (via the web cam) today. It was much better compared to the other day when we were arguing (not good). I love that man SO much! I just wish I could express to him just how much I love him, but words or actions just aren't good enough to do it. He says he knows how much I love him and he loves me and misses me just as much. BUT I could tell him EVERY second for the REST of my life and still not be able to express just how much I love him. Ok, Ok, you get it right!! I love my soldier!!

I miss him sooo much!!!

I Love You

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Deployment - adding more time!!!

Rolling Eyes

My Sweetie told me today that he heard their deployment MIGHT be extended another month (until May). We had thought it would end by the end of March or first part of April, but now it looks like it will be sometime in May (dont know date yet.. and honestly we dont know if this is even confirmed). He has already been activated for over 5 months and we were expecting atleast a 14 month seperation. Adding another month doesn't help either (this will make it a 15-16 month activation/deployment).

He forgave me!!


Well Jason forgave me and said he was sorry too! Ahh making up is so sweet (but I miss making up in person).


Well I have to go register my youngest daughter (Alex) for school this morning. My oldest daughter (Erin) is moving up to the middle school and I will have to register her tomorrow. Of course I will have to call the girls in Indiana (where they are visiting their dad until August 7th) to let them know who their teachers will be (this is always exciting for them).


When I get home I am going to get some typing done, but really want to spend a lot of time with Hayden today. He really really misses his daddy and even at 3-years-old (just turned 3) he asks a lot of questions about Jason being gone "why" this and "why" that.


Of course we have church tonight.. and I am joining the choir. I am really excited about this. I pray the Lord will use for His Glory in this ministry. I love to sing His praises!

Have a GREAT day everyone!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I sent him an apology email!!

Ok, I humbled myself to my Sweetie and sent him an apology email. He will get it when he gets in from his shift in the morning (remember he is already 7 hours ahead of me - so that will be in a few more hours).

Forgive Me
I'm sorry if I offended you today. That was not my intention at all. Although I truly believe you misunderstood what I was trying to say, I quickly responded back with anger instead of love.. and for that I am also sorry.

As far as the other email (which you have probably already seen) that I sent after we said goodbye, I want to apologize if I came across hateful in it.

I love you Jason will all my heart and I feel so bad that we didnt get to talk and enjoy each other's company today.

Will you forgive me????????????
Im sorry baby!!

I love you always,

uhhhh what a day!

I am having a horrible day!

After working all day (medical transcription) and stopping throughout the day to play with Hayden, I decided I needed to get out in the back yard and pick up the hundreds of sticks and limbs that were scattered across my lawn, deck, and concrete. UHHH I sure could have used some help..... It was not fun at all. I sure wish the girls would have been home to help me. In addition to the limbs and sticks there were hundreds of leaves and tiny pieces of bark, etc all over the back drive (concrete) too. I thought "Hey, I'll just use the leaf blower and blow them to the side". WRONG! Apparenty I don't know how to start the dag'on leaf blower!!! Ok.. I decided to just get this big push broom and do some more manual labour and clean it up that way. Boy, that was exhausting! Then I thought I would go ahead and weed eat the front yard and just cut grass another day (yep, the grass looks tall again. Well guess what??? I don't know how to start the weed eater either!!! Just great!!! This is not working out for me. HEY.. at least I do know how to start and use the lawn mower (but that will get done another day - I'm just too frustrated to get out there today). I am feeling really really frustrated!
To top it all off.. Jason and I got into a spat today (again it's hard work to make a marriage work when you live in the same house, but it's 100 times harder when you're thousands of miles apart for 14 months). Unfortunately today we didn't really make-up when we said goodbye. I really feel bad about it.. BUT (there is always a but isn't there) I don't feel like I was wrong in the situation, so I stood my ground (yeah sounds a little immature... I know, I know.. I should have just spoken and made the peace). Well.. there's always tomorrow.


AND I have been trying for TWO days to get a hold of my ex-husband so I can talk to my girls (who are visiting him for 5 weeks) and he will not return my phone call!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

update.. the girls called me (apparently their dad is working a night shift and they haven't heard the phone). Plus the girls spent the night with a friend the past two nights. Anyway.. his wife saw where I called and had the girls call me. Hearing their voices made my day so much better!!!

Monday, July 11, 2005

(continued) the rest of my Sunday afternoon

After Hayden and I got in from church, we ate lunch and I logged on to talk to Jason (Web Cam). However, Jason didn't log in until about 30 minutes later than normal (told me he had not realized what time it was and he still needed to get a shower). So about 10 minutes later he came back and we had about 20 minutes to talk (We usually have an hour). Him and Hayden spent most of this time together and Jason and I didn't really get to talk much.
The weather was starting to get bad and I got Hayden to lay down. We took a nap (ahhh I have not taken a nap in a long time). It was nice!!

As the evening progressed the weather got worse. The wind was blowing really hard and Hayden got scared. We made a big palet and slept in the living room (the BIG tree at the back of the house scares me). I woke up about 2:30 a.m. and reset my alarm (as the electricity had gone out).

When I woke up this morning there were limbs all in the back yard, and a small tree next door had fallen. It landed in the bushes between my yard and the neighbors yard. Actually I had not pulled my car up as far as I normally do and if I had the top limbs from that little tree would have landed on my car and scratched it up. So I got lucky!

Joining the choir...

Place Of Worship
Sunday morning Hayden and I got up and went to church. I tried a different Sunday School class than I did previously (I had gone to the Young Couples Class before, but I tried one of the Women's Classes this weekend). The ladies in the class were very nice, however I may try the other couples class that Brother Jimmy teaches. I am in no rush and know that God will let me know which class I need to be in.

Jesus Fish
Sunday service was great! Brother Jimmy delivered a power message during service. I was truly blessed.
However, I am still having to get used to the difference in the music. As this is a Southern Baptist church and I have attended an inner-denominational church for the past five years. The music is not as upbeat and I don't feel like I am actually praising and worshiping like I have been able to. I am used to lifting my hands and singing my heart out and feeling like it is just me and the Lord there and no one else. Despite the difference in the music, I know the Lord wants to use me in this area and I have decided to join the choir. I am looking forward to this and know the Lord will use me for His Glory!

I am still praying that the Lord will reveal to me if this church is where the children and I need to be. Again the girls are in Indiana visiting their dad until August 7th, so they won't be back in church until August 14th. I want them to have several weeks there too to see how they feel about the different ministries that they too can serve (Wed night services, SS classes, children's choir, etc).

Last night (at home) I was listening to some Clint Brown, Martha Munizzi, Yolanda Adams, and Vicki Winans. I was blessed and was singing his praises!! Praise.... Praise His Name!!