I Love My Soldier: I need a support group!













Jason was activated 01/31/2005
His deployment ended
and he returned home 05/13/2006
(a very long 15 1/2 months)



Our
Beautiful
Family







Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I need a support group!

Crying 1

I miss Jason so much! I just want to hold him close and kiss his lips. I want to feel his arms around me. I want to snuggle with him on the couch and watch a movie. I want to fall asleep next to him in our bed. Ha, I even miss hearing him snore. I want my husband back. I miss him so much, so very very much. There is so much that I miss. I miss the way he would hug me when he came in from work. I miss his gumbo and ahhh the cooking out on the grill. I miss seeing him playing with the kids. I miss the things we did together as a family. I miss his touch, his kiss! I miss him. Oh how, I miss him!!! I know... I know... In time he will be back and I will have all of those things again. But HERE and NOW I miss him. I miss my husband, I miss my best friend!

I am trying so hard to stay busy and I have made an endless list of tasks to complete, but he is ALWAYS in my thoughts. I want to be strong, yet sometimes I feel so weak. I have to be strong for Jason and for the kids (and I am for them) but inside I feel like I am dying! I sit here and cry and feel sorry for myself (my own little pitty party). Although VERY supportive, my friends and family don't understand (there is no way they can understand).

The majority of the families in our Family Support Group are an hour away from me. Part of Jason's unit was called up with the unit he was deployed with, so I don't know the families. It is my fault I guess, I haven't made an attempt to go to any of the meetings. I guess my excuse for not going is because of the distance and the families not being local people. My fault.. I need to go! I really really need to go! I have met several military wives online too and they leave very encouraging comments on my blog and that really makes me feel good and lifts my spirits, yet I still feel like I need someone to talk to "more" about these feelings - someone who is going through the same thing. Several people have given me their emails, IMs, etc if I need to talk, maybe I should take them up on their offer. I have been looking for a good support group (forum) online too. If anyone knows of one, please let me know.

(Some of my favorite lyrics - from "Come home soon" by SheDaisy)
"I sleep alone, I cry alone, and it's so hard living here on my own".
"I know we're together, even though we're far apart!"
"I''ll wait my turn, until it's our turn to dance".
"Without you this house is not a home"
"Please come home soon".


4 Comments:

At 7:43 AM, Blogger Stacy said...

If there is anything that I can do, please let me know. I know all about the sitting and crying part. I still do it. I miss my son so much sometimes, I feel like I just can't go one more day without seeing him.

Not sure how your Family Readiness Group is, but ours was terrible here in Mississippi. I was an officer and resigned after several months, as it was nothing but a business meeting each month, and that is not what I joined for. I thought that I would be visiting with other parents and wives that understood just what I was going through. When I figured out that that was not how our monthly FRG's would be, I decided that I could get more support from my blogging friends than from them.

Good luck with the meetings, they just did not work for the majority of us that first started attending.

Please let me know if there is anything that I can do.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger ~*~ Deanne ~*~ said...

Thank you April (Military Wife) for your email! It is nice to know I'm not alone and there are others out there who are feeling the way I am. You have a houseful of kids yourself too.. It's really tough, but we are stronger! Email me anytime.. I love to chat!

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger ~*~ Deanne ~*~ said...

Niki,
Thank you for your kind emails too And for the link to the group! I will definetly have to check it out!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/USMilitaryWivesnMoms/

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger ~*~ Deanne ~*~ said...

Thanks Stacy for your comment (and all your comments - they really make me feel good). (and I love your blog).

I am seriously thinking of going to the next FRG! I too just dont want it to be like a business meeting.. however I wont know unless I go!

p.s. I hope you get to talk to your son Michael soon!

 

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