I Love My Soldier: One tuff momma!

Jason was activated 01/31/2005
His deployment ended
and he returned home 05/13/2006
(a very long 15 1/2 months)


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

One tuff momma!

I know sometimes my girls probably think I am too tough on them, but I have to be. They may not realize it, but it is for their own good. I may be tough, but its tough LOVE! See, I have seen other kids (kids who go to school with them, and yes even kids they go to church with) who have the worst attitudes, talk and act hateful, and have no respect for others (their peers and adults) and I simply will not allow my children to be that way. If I tell my children to do something, I expect them to do it. I shouldn't have to repeat myself multiple times, and threaten to whip or ground them, and then not follow through with it, and them get away with doing whatever they want. What kind of lesson is that? What have I taught them if they can get away with anything? So if the rule is you are supposed to do "this" and you don't then "this will be the consequence" and sometimes that consequence can be pretty strict. Like, not going skating, and/or not getting to go the slumber party and movies with your friends. Its hard, and it breaks my heart to do it.

Erin seems to be going through a hard time. If I don't keep my foot down now, I will regret it later. She is a sweetheart and so loving, but she has gotten to where she does not want to clean her room (which she knows is a very important rule of mine). She also is not bringing home all of her homework, not studying for tests, and not asking for help in subjects she needs help with. She was on a 3 strike you're out system with me this week (concerning whether if she was going to be able to go the slumber party this coming weekend). She had not been doing what I asked and I was really stressed out and simply fed up with it this week. Then today she brings me her planner showing me where one of her teachers (Social Studies) was having me sign where she made bad marks on two tests. I was so disappointed. I asked her why she did so poorly and she said she didn't study. I asked her why she didnt study and she said she didn't know.

Erin and I skipped church tonight. I took Alex to church and went back and picked her up. Erin and I stayed home and went over her math homework (which she really struggles with math). We also went over her Social Studies test (which is tomorrow - Thursday). She did GREAT!!! I asked questions, she got the answers.. it was so easy. I asked her why she did so well on this with us practicing and failed the other two. She said she just didn't study for them. So we made a pact that as soon as she gets in from school she is to get a snack and a drink then she is to bring ALL of her homework in MY bedroom and I will sit down with her while she does her homework. I want to know of EVERY test she is going to have and I want to review that with her nightly. I will just have to stop my typing (Medical Transcription) at 3:00 pm after I pick them up from school and just start back on it after they go to bed at night (which is why I am still up now). Anyway it took Erin and I a while tonight to get her homework and studying done, but we did it and when we were done she felt better (and more confident). However I admit it was hard to do with Hayden also wanting attention - MAN I miss Jason being home I sure could use his help!!!!!!.

I had previously told Erin that because of two poor test scores (and I am talking REALLY BAD) that she could not go to the slumber party. However I told her that if she did exceptionally well on the test tomorrow then she could go to the slumber party Friday night. She was excited..but I told her she had to do really well. So yes, I caved.. (a little). But I still think she sees how serious I am. AND she still has to do exceptionally well on that test to go (it has to be GREAT in order to bring up her grades). I am confident that she will do well tomorrow.

Life is so hard as it is with being a mom and taking care of the kids, homework, etc.. and I miss Jason so much!!! I am so stressed out lately... I just keep smiling and acting like everything is ok, but I am really stressed out! I don't want people to feel sorry for me and think I am weak... I want to be strong and make Jason proud of me for handling this all on my own.. but sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing a good job! But that's just the devil trying to get me down.. "ok girl" (talking to myself now..haha).. "keep on smiling and doing your best"!!!


At 4:46 AM, Anonymous Rachael said...

I am a single mom of two precious angels and I know how hard it is for us but I know that God will never put more on us than we can handle. Even though I know you are not single and married but right now you are a very strong woman and doing a wonderful job. Hold your head up and keep up the good work.

At 5:29 AM, Blogger Stacy said...

Tough love is the only way Deanne. I know for a fact it works. I was so hard on Michael, but now I look back, and I am so so proud of him. I never had any trouble out of him. Everybody always told me to lighten up on him. In the long run, it was all so worth it. He is one fine soldier serving our country now.

Keep going with the tough love, you won't regret it.

At 8:32 AM, Blogger Al's Girl said...

Tough love is LOVE. If you read any part of the Bible - permissiveness only messes up your kids.

I hope that things get better Erin-wise - and that her grades come up.


At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Lisa said...

Well, D~ As you know I had to act on Tough Love at a much different level. My son, 16y/o, was given too much freedom for much too long and it resulted in occasional drug use, defiance, self hatred also. Thank God for Tough Love options. He is much better. I KNOW you are doing the right thing. Keep it up, your kids will respect your consistancy as well as your discipline. I pray no parent has to go to the extreme that I had to..Kudos to you MOM. Love Ya, ~L


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